3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Date
There is a reason people get into relationships. Before they begin, they have images in their minds about how things will turn out based on who they think you are, and what you are bringing to the table. If they like the pictures they imagine, they proceed. Needless to say, these images are not always in line with reality, in which case the relationship might disintegrate, or they'll adjust.
The bottom line is that there are some things we expect from relationships. Some advise you to think about what you want. Others tell you to focus more on what the other person wants. But for things to work, both your and the other person's wants must be met. It’s not all giving and no receiving. Neither is it all receive and no giving.
Relationships are fundamentally a trade. You bring something to the table, you get something. Although this does not sound romantic, it is true. Real life is not as romantic as we wish it were. This is not about material and more about personality strengths and weakness.
Along those lines, here are some questions you need to ask yourself before dating.
1. What Do I Want?
This is important and should never be disregarded. You should never be carried away with pleasing others or have whoever will have you but should as well know what you would like in a partner. Of course, you have to be realistic about this and not come up with a huge checklist. It won’t be realistic if you obsess over every little detail.
In fact, all you need is a general idea of the kind of person you want, how you would love them to act, the interests you would like them to have or not have, etc.
2. What Am I Bringing to the Table?
Just as you want some value in your partner, they also want something in you. So, ask yourself what you will be bringing to the table: What is it about you that they would find valuable? Are you a strong non-quitting person? Are you fun to be around? Are you an ambitious person who is constantly working toward their dream?
3. What Does My Dating Market Want?
Having figured out what it is about you that you think a partner would find valuable, ask yourself what the dating market actually wants. What are those people you would like to be with looking for? Are you looking for exceptionally smart women? What do they want? If you are looking for creative men, what would they like to see in you?
Reassess Your Wants or Better Yourself
If you find that the person you want is non-existent, it might be time to reassess your conditions. You may have unrealistic expectations about finding the perfect partner but, everyone knows there is no such thing as a perfect partner.
On the other hand, you might find that the people you are looking for want something different than what you have to offer. It might be time to improve yourself or, once again, reassess your wants.
There is plenty of fish in the sea but finding the right one is where it gets a little hard. Although meeting new people is free, whether offline or with free dating sites, dates may eat up time and money. It is important that you clearly define what yu are looking so that you do not waste your time and that of your dates.