5 Common Financial Mistakes That Can Break Your Relationship
Imagine the relationship you've worked hard to build with your partner all going down the drain because of financial problems. Although this is an ugly thought, it is nonetheless a reality. According to a study by GOBankingRates, most of the relationship-breaking problems are embroiled in finances.
You can save your relationship with a little understanding of what these deal breakers are, and how you can avoid them. Troubles come, yes, but what would you give for an amicable solution every time an argument comes up, or for reducing the frequency of financial quarrels altogether? Probably an arm if you really value your relationship. But, there are some things you can avoid to reduce finance-related problems with your partner, and that without having to lose any limbs.
Here are 5 most common financial problems that can kill your relationship.
1. Having Different Values about Money
It's important that you have the same values about money with your partner. However, it is next to impossible to find a random couple that does. The only hope lies in working things out so that one compromises or both of you find a middle ground. For example, it is not uncommon for one partner to want to spend money on power tools, or a bigger TV, or a new car while the other thinks these purchases are absolutely ridiculous. If there is not enough money, in which case they will see these purchases as getting in the way of things that really matter, fights will follow.
Differences in values about money can also manifest in terms of savings and frugality. If one partner sees being reserved when it comes to purchases as the right way to live, problems may arise if the other has their sights set on a flashier lifestyle.
2. Hiding Debt
In a bid not to scare your partner, especially if you are just starting a new relationship, you may find it convenient not to divulge your debt or your general financial status. That might be a good move since it doesn't make sense to go into such details when you are only getting to know this person. But, if you are really thinking about being together for the long haul, these issues should find a way of coming to the surface.
Keeping secrets about your debt can be a serious blow to your relationship. Hiding debt goes way beyond money and treks right into 'trust territory'. What else could you be hiding if you can't be open about such important issues as money? You don't even have to lie about your debt, the simple fact that you are not revealing such serious details is enough to shake your relationship.
3. Not Informing Partners before Making Purchases
You may have different values about money, and this will show up as differences in what you think is a right purchase to make, depending on your prevailing financial situation. This means your partner may not agree with you on your decision to get a new dishwasher, a new lawn mower, or that expensive dress.
The smart thing to do is just go ahead with the shopping then let the fire fall right? Wrong. The fire might just fall hard enough to melt your relationship away, and that over one or two unimportant purchases. You are better off explaining your lungs out trying to convince your partner to allow the buying than trying to extinguish the fire that is sure to come after you surprise purchase.
4. Not Making Enough
Well, this has to be the root of all evil. When you're strapped for cash, anything, no matter how trivial, becomes a problem so long it has to do with $$$. Arguments pop up every which way and it may feel as if you're in one perpetual chokehold.
The problem, as far as your relationship goes, is if your partner thinks you’re are not doing enough to make enough money. You will be the focal point of al you financial issues and that will strain your relationship.
The solution, you ask? Well, the first thing is to come to an understanding with your partner. Try to understand why they think you are not doing enough, and ask for whatever suggestions they may have. Work things out from there. The key is for both of you to try to see things from the other's perspective.
5. Old Fashioned Gender Roles
Although they are fading, traditional views about who should make the dough in the house still stand strong today. This may prove to be an ever-flowing stream of conflict if you and your partner do not agree in this regard. For example, if you are the woman, you may feel it's his duty to make all the money. But, if he doesn't think so, he might end up resenting you, blaming you for all your financial woes.
Such values are what you should try to find out about from the onset of your relationship. If you are already together and this seems to be a problem, communication is the best hammer to break this rock with. Instead of harbouring negative feelings, try to talk about it together and see what middle ground you can find.
The most important thing to understand is that while financial problems can be damaging, they are not always as devastating as an A-bomb. They like any problems in a relationship, will pop up now and then and that just how it is. It only matters how you both handle the situation.