6 Wrong Reasons to Get Back With Your Ex
It’s been a while since you broke up. You were the victim in the split and have vowed to never look back for as long as your brain remains functional. But, your ex is here and is begging you to take them back, telling you how they have changed and won’t ever do whatever evil they did again. Their pleas are slowly weakening you and the idea of getting back together sounds increasingly appealing. But should you?
For most, getting back together after a split is a sworn no-no, at least right in the aftermath of the ordeal since post-breakup doubt almost always follows. But there definitely cannot be one robotic yes or no. All cases are different and so whether or not you get back together depends on the circumstances surrounding the split, and what changes there have been since you parted ways.
Are you considering getting back with your ex? Here are some reasons it’s probably a bad idea.
1. You May Have Simply Forgotten Why You Broke Up
There is a reason you broke up, a reason so strong it made your desire to be together buckle. But a few weeks after splitting up, selective amnesia follows and you seem to forget why you broke up in the first place. Moments of warm nostalgia presumably triggered by some song, or movie, or even a simple walk in the park, makes getting back seem like the right thing to do.
On the other side of this decision lies the same reason you broke up. It only seems non-existent or at least toned down because you have forgotten. Otherwise, the same fights over trivial issues, the same jealousy, and the same cheating await.
Yes, people reform and circumstances do change. But your decision has to be influenced by more than mere emotions triggered by memories of your romantic past.
2. You Have Tried a Couple of Times Before
You probably have come across a relationship where partners swear never to as much as think about the other person, but a mere week later are having sex and happily get back together. A month later, it is off, then on, ad infinutum.
If breaking up and getting back together becomes as sure as the rising and falling tide, it might be time to break the loop if you want your love life to go any forward. No matter how promising a comeback might seem, you are probably just going to break up again.
Although you broke up because something between you just wasn’t right, there were some things you loved and you miss them. You might be strong enough to forget about the good but it can be unbearable to let someone else take your place. The jealousy can be so strong that you might want to get back with your ex in spite of all the reasons you left. The problem is that this does not present itself unmasked. It sometimes comes wrapped in a valid albeit ill-perceived reason.
4. You Have Wasted Too Much Time
After being with the same person for years, it might seem the right thing to do to get back together. It’s understandable – you cannot waste all those years. But if that is the only reason you want to get back to restore your relationship, you might find yourself wasting even more time. Move on, find someone else.
5. Material Gains
Sometimes, relationships come with more rewards than just love and companionship, there might be material gains, too. It could be that you are financially better off with this person and breaking up means no more money. But this only keeps you from growing you love life.
It can be uncomfortable to let go of the close company you had. The cosy moments you had, even though too few to sustain your relationship, were still cosy and you miss them. This makes it easy to forget all the reasons you broke up. It’s normal but should never be the basis of your getting back together.
There are many people with whom you might be compatible, it might just be a matter of reaching out. No need to go to bars, force yourself to be a member of some club just to find a partner. With online dating, you can get connected to endless males and females looking for relationships.
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