How to Get Back in the Dating Game after a Long Term Relationship
Have you just recovered from the breakup of a long term relationship and are thinking of getting back into the dating game? While this might seem to be easy, you will find that it has a number of challenges that need addressing as you proceed. How hard you find this depends on how your relationship ended, how long you have been out of the game and your dating skills.
Here are some challenges you might face as you try to get back into the dating pool.
If the breakup of your relationship was brought on by the betrayal of your trust, you might find yourself insecure with your new partner. You are likely to find yourself making a big deal of every little suspicious thing your partner does. This, of course, is not healthy and does not help your relationship.
It is smart to use your last experience as a lesson but you should treat the new one as a fresh blank page. You partner should in no way represent your ex.
Being too picky
What normally happens when you leap from a long-term relation into the dating pool is that you find yourself looking for the good characteristics of your ex while avoiding the bad ones. When choosing someone to be with, it will be on the presumption that they have these desired traits. But your criteria might be so unrealistic that it becomes impossible for anyone to meet it. Allow some compromise. The perfect partner does not exist.
A rebound relationship is a move to quickly fill the gap left by your last partner. It is considered harmful and often futile as it is built on the wrong foundation. You need to ask yourself whether the decision to start dating again has nothing to do with the uncomfortable feelings of loneliness, or a desire to ‘show’ your ex.
How do you know you are ready
So when is it finally a good time for you to start dating again?
When someone comes out of a relationship, there follows an unpleasant period referred to as Post-breakup Stress. One way to escape this is to find someone fast. But this is no real solution and is just a form of burying issues which are bound to resurface. It is not a cancellation but a post-postponement. The time always comes and this often results in breakups.
The best way to heal is to learn to be by yourself again. This, of course, takes time depending on your personality, how long you were together, and. During this period is when you also have to think about your previous relation with introspection to see what went wrong and how to avoid that. Just don’t let your period of mourning and reflection turn into a lifestyle.
Bringing up the past
Talking about your ex is an effective way to crumble your new relationship. While you have to learn from it, never refer any of your situation to your ex. Your partner will find this off-putting.
More possibly of a great relationship
The upside of getting back into the dating after a long-term relationship is that you now know what you want. You’re wiser and know what is important, what actually matters. This is a chance to find someone that can share the life you picture with you. You know what parts of your personality do not help your relationship and need to be worked on. On top of that, finding that person might just be a few mouse clicks away. Online dating has made it easier to connect with all sorts of people in a short time, all from your internet device.